Our apartment – 2016 NSFW

It's been not only a long time since I've posted here, but it has been a long time since I shared photos of my place. The last time you guys saw where I lived I was still living at home with my parents. It was back in 2012, so easily 4 years ago you saw my collection. Now you can see not only has my… [more]

Our apartment – 2016 NSFW Our apartment - 2016 NSFW

[Alter] – Melty Review

So since I've moved into my new apartment I still hadn't set up my photography studio. Seems work has me busier than I thought I would ever be, however I took some time this past weekend to set up my studio so I could take some photos of my latest purchase, Alter's 1/8th Melty from Shining Hearts. Now… [more]

[Alter] – Melty Review [Alter] - Melty Review

[Orchid Seed] – Yuki Review NSFW

Pre-ordered this figure the moment she was released for pre-order. I needed for for multiple reasons, she's sexy/half naked, plus while she's not Sora she reminds me of Sora from Yosuga no Sora! But she's Yuki from Maid Yome and she's pretty amazing. The only issue is her adorable mouth really looks… [more]

[Orchid Seed] – Yuki Review NSFW [Orchid Seed] - Yuki Review NSFW

Nendoroid Storage Container

I recently went on a trip to a magical place, The Container Store. Ok it's not really magical, but I happen to have discovered a love for organizing my home. I tend to prefer Ikea and Daiso but we went to The Container Store on a whim and I discovered this lovely storage container! I've been needing… [more]

Nendoroid Storage Container Nendoroid Storage Container

Why I’d only Date an Otaku

In a recent article on CNNGo about why “Why it’s better to date an otaku guy.” They talk about 8 reasons why Japanese Nerds are the best boyfriends. I won’t go into a review about the article so feel free to go read it then come back. During our latest Episode of AX Live we talked about the article and our question of the week was “Would you date an otaku in the US?” While I’ll be giving an answer on air I felt that knowing my nature of rambling I won’t be able to get out everything I feel about it during such a short segment so I should write it out here for you all. It’s no secret that I date and that I’ve had a couple of boyfriends, mostly Otaku. With my Limited Dating experience I figure I should give my reasons why I’ll only date Otaku men. I’ll have to go back a few years to give examples, back to my first boyfriend, We’ll call him boy #1.

Now Boy #1 was a boy from my High School and we dated for 2 years, this was during a time that I was becoming more of an Otaku. I didn’t have too many friends who knew about anime and my older brother was feeding me more and more anime every time we spent time together which was often. It was hard on Boy #1, he didn’t understand what i was watching or the appeal, I tried to help him get into it by lending him a few different anime but he didn’t even want to try to understand. This was also a time that I was getting into Anime/J-pop music and I listened to it all the time! The last straw with Boy #1 was when I had a mix cd of different anime openings/endings and J-pop and J-rock bands, i put in the CD in my own car non-the-less and he didn’t like it, so he took the CD and threw it out the window. I was hurt and offended, this was a part of my life now, something I loved that he had no intention of trying to understand. After that I broke it off.

I realized that I was so into the realm of Otakuness that I needed someone who understood the fandom, understood that dressing up wasn’t just for Halloween anymore but could be year round at different anime conventions, that I know the lyrics to A Cruel Angel’s Thesis more than the lyrics to the latest Kanye West song. I found Boy #3, now I’m skipping boy #2 since he was Otaku enough but just a jerk all around so no need to get into that…

Now Boy #3 was an Otaku, he went to all the fun conventions, had tons of friends who were into the fandom and even did concerts singing songs in Japanese. But even still while he was an Otaku it had it’s limits. There are certain aspects of the fandom that some people get into and other’s don’t. All of us figure collectors go through it on time or another, where someone says “why are you going to spend so much money on that plastic toy?” “You could easily buy a video game for that much money!” “$800 for a doll? That’s crazy you could buy a TV for that much!” While it all might seem harmless, it starts getting you down as a figure collector.

I no longer see myself as a “Normal Otaku” I’m a “Figure Otaku.” Yes I know my Anime, my Manga, and more, but I know my figures like nobody’s business. The fine line between Want and Need is very blurred, I don’t want every Yoko figure out there, I Need every Yoko figure out there. I don’t want to complete that collection of K-on Nendoroids, I Need to complete that set. Yes it might seem crazed and like I’ve gone of the deep end, but that’s exactly it. I have gone past the point of no return, this is it, this is my life. I am Frances Delgado, Figure Collector. Boy #3 never understood that, he always put me down when it came to spending my money on figures. Things ended for different reasons but in the end I came to realize that Boy #3 wasn’t the right one because he never understood why it is that I have this collection, He never understood never tried to understand the hobby, the fandom.

It’s not just about dating an “Otaku” but finding an “Otaku” who fits you. We all know there are so many different types of us out there; the cosplayers, the musicians, the manga nuts, the dvd/bluray collectors, and more. It’s not just finding another Otaku but finding one who fits with you. I won’t jump the gun with the relationship I’m in now, but I’ll tell you that currently we seem to fit. He understand this hobby, heck he collects figures too. He doesn’t have as many as I do, and he asks me advice on whether or not he should get different figures (which i love by the way!) I adore helping people buy figures! I would love to do one day where I would take a group around the Exhibit Hall at Anime Expo and point out amazing figures and what to buy and what not to buy! Obviously if you have a specific taste we’d take that into consideration but it would be so much fun! Ok I’m getting off topic.

When it came to buying Dollfie Yoko, it took me a long time to finally get the nerve to buy her. $800 was a lot of money for me to spend, I knew that it had been over 2 years since I had first saw promotional pictures and knew i had to have her and still wanted her just as much, but my current boyfriend is the one who helped me make the leap. He was considering getting a 1/1 scale Paper Moon Ayanami Rei. But they’re $5,000 and when he saw they had a payment plan he would not stop talking about how he should do it and do the payment plan. In the end I realized, here is this guy, he adores Ayanami Rei as much as I love Yoko and is willing to spend $5,000 on her? I should be able to spend less than $1,000 on my beloved Yoko. I made the leap and set up a payment plan. Now as we all know I’m a proud parent!

So back to the article, Yes I’d say dating an Otaku guy is Great!

1. Access to an unknown world

For those otaku who are into different things, I try and find someone who is into most things I’m into, but there are always thing you may never have seen or heard of. There are so many different anime I’ve yet to see that he tells me are amazing. It’s nice to get a fresh opinion and new anime even if it’s older anime that I haven’t seen to watch!

2. Fresh date ideas

You can hang out with friends and go see anime movies in independent theaters, go to different anime conventions and meet new people. Going to cosplay gatherings, Japanese festivals in Little Tokyo.

3. Trustworthy

Now this isn’t so much otaku, because you can find untrustworthy people anywhere, I’d point out to boy #2 but then again I won’t go into that…

4. Shared obsessions

So true! When you both love something together it’s like double the love! Plus for instance, say we both love series A, and series A is actually an homage to series Z and your otaku date hasn’t seen series Z you can help them discover more awesome anime!

5. Enthusiastic conversations

You can sit around together and have in depth conversations as to why you just can’t get into Naruto and why he has to watch School Days. Why he feels that Wolf’s Rain is just so awesome and that I’m an idiot for not watching Inuyasha and that I’ll argue that Maison Ikkoku is so much better!

6. Respect for your sense of values

Again this depends on the person, even within our own otakusphere there are so many people with different values, morals, religions and more, finding someone who respects that and gets you is just simple rules of dating.

7. An expert helper

I will say with all the Otaku’s I’ve dated this is one to be true, I’m so computer retarded and most of them have been very computer smart, each one seems to get smarter than the other. Heck this site’s redesign was done by my current boyfriend. How do you like it?

8. Dependable

Once again this depends on the person, but finding someone that is dependable is always hard. Really only the current boyfriend has proven himself worthy of this title yet many men can just be douchejerks.

Of course this article is referring to Japanese Otaku and not Otaku in the rest of the world. in my experience in the rest of the world, Otaku men can be the same as regular men. Just they are into the same things you are, which is the benefit in the end. So for me, as with figure collecting, there is no going back, it’s only Otaku men who will understand me and this wonderful amazing thing we all know and love! How about you? Will you only date Otaku? Would you want someone who isn’t into anime? What are your reasons?

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54 Responses to “Why I’d only Date an Otaku”

  1. Jacob Martin says:

    Yeah, it’s hard finding any girl who’d want to date me – especially on campus. Many of them smoke which is hard on my lungs, but also many of both genders who I thought were my friends didn’t even message me on facebook to tell me “Happy 21st Birthday”.

    It’s lonely and horrible and when I get like this it’s no fun for anybody around me. Even for myself, I’m starting to notice I’m a bit more bitter than usual since it’s very hard in my area to meet people my own age when University term is out.

    At this stage I don’t even know who I am as a person anymore – I wouldn’t know if a girl was attracted to me if she was kissing me in the face either. It’s a problem for a lot of young men who are a bit shier or even just socially deprived compared to other men their age. I don’t get a lot of opportunities to go out and if I do I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. Life is depressing at the moment.

    • Dancing Queen says:

      yeah, it is hard dating. but something that helps is just getting yourself out there, find like minded people. open your eyes and look carefully, for all you know there are tons of amazing girls around you! chin up and things get better! I Promise!

  2. ObsidianGT says:

    That’s a tough one, because opposites attract and keep things spicy. You get introduced to things you would have normally passed-up and that allows for a more fulfilling life.

    No matter how alike we may think we are, we’re all different. We can’t expect to date ourselves!

    Otaku or not, I think what’s most important in compatibility is mutual respect. Then, it wouldn’t matter if you’re into anime, manga, figures, sports, knitting, skiing, or whatever!

    I think that sort of relationship could allow time for each other for mutual interests, while allowing time apart to pursue one’s own interests and hobbies.

    • Dancing Queen says:

      i have to agree with you on that too, but again for myself i find it easier when they are into at least similar things, while if they were just supportive and not “into anime” who would i talk to about when i’d see an awesome anime? Would he really care and listen? Would i be driven to talk to my friends that really did get it?

  3. Gina Lucia says:

    My fiancée is not an Otaku but I quite obviously am. Though this doesn’t bother me. He may not be as into all this stuff as I am but the main thing is, that is accepts it.

    I don’t think it is all about having the same interests, after all that could get a bit boring and you would never see or do anything else.

    I think that if you find somebody you have that much in common with, then it’s great, but it’s not what is truly important.

    My fiancée encourages me, comes along to events with me and even buys me stuff. He likes anime, but he would prefer to watch something historical I am sure. He seems to like Hetalia though… I wonder why. 😉

    Great article though!

    • Dancing Queen says:

      but see he encourages it, and goes with you to events. if he just sat at home everytrime you wanted to go, left you all by yourself, complained everytime you bought something anime for yourself it would be an issue. But it’s finding someone understanding who cares and loves you. Seems like you’ve got a great guy!

  4. ragnablade says:

    How about your friend India who I met with you at ALA? She kind of teased you about your ownership of your Yoko dollfie. ^_^ Understandable you have your priorities, because Yoko or figures aren’t going to be easily available in the future. As long as your hobbies don’t get in the way of your needs.

    I’m sure your friend is looking out for you and doesn’t want to see you struggling financially.

    What I do when I see something I want, I write it down with the price. Then I look at my list and see which ones I really wanted the most. Then I start crossing things off. Then I tape the list to a wall and just sit on it for a few days. Afterwards, I look at the list again and see if I still really want it. Sometimes I add to the list, I number which things have the most priority or desire. After a while, I realize I didn’t really want the things on the list and would rather just pay my bills off, or save money for expenses I know are coming.

    • Dancing Queen says:

      Ahh see India is another story, I’m not dating india. Plus she’s practically my sister, i’ve known her since i was 3-4ish. Her teasing me is all in good fun!

      Saving money for bills and taking care of your obligations is just normal as a person. But to never be able to spend money on yourself? even when you do have some extra income? that’s where it gets bad.

  5. Eefi says:

    Let’s face it, you can’t get along with everyone.. if my boyfriend were much more obsessed than me, I doubt I could cope either. I’ve been to conventions and it’s been fun but as I currently am I can’t identify with the people there anymore. I don’t feel comfortable there and if my boyfriend insisted on he wanted to photograph all the pretty cosplayers while I’m not good at and don’t enjoy cosplay myself – I probably would feel hurt.
    I think of myself as a moderate anime person/figure collector (I don’t think of myself as an otaku). I’ve blown enough money for figures for me to think it is a lot (by no means comparable to your collection ^^;) while all my university friends are barely collecting any figures. But they are all into watching anime so there’s still lots to talk about which is enough for me. I’m especially happy the die hard anime fans of us were able to convince the other two in our group to watch anime too xD
    My boyfriend has once given up on the fandom but picked it up again for me which is sweet xD He now basically just watches anime with me, listens to soundtracks and reads manga (a little) while I draw, build kits, collect figures and music. If we broke up he probably wouldn’t stick to it (although I don’t know). But he deliberately helps me building shelves, cases, lighting for all my figures, photographs my finished kits, buys prints of my drawings for me .. so I guess overall I’m pretty lucky. 🙂

  6. […] found an alternative otaku article and relationships… by DancingQueen on […]

  7. Fabrice says:

    I dont decide on who i have to date, having specific categories..no. People should be open minded.
    Even thought i dont think of myself as a otaku because, personally,it has a deep meaning to it.. As long as the person wether she is or not an otaku accepts me for who i am then im happy, and that should be the most important part.

    I can understand Otaku #3, well anyone in general would question why spend so much, but they dont understand and its sad that he couldnt accept it =/ plus its not his money right?! ^^

    Anyway you never know in life, people mustn’t restrict themselves on what they want, in your case, maybe one day youll find someone you like that is not an otaku and that accepts you for who you are. expect the unexpected if you know what i mean ^^

    man..sorry for going on, but i just want to point out what im thinking right now after reading this, of course it would be great to have someone that shares the same hobby as you or like your list of 1 to 8, but maybe thats a little too demanding ^^”

    but hopefully you find the prefect guy for you =)

    • Dancing Queen says:

      but see i’ve dated the non-otaku. They didn’t understand it, I also haven’t found someone who tried to get into it, but then at that point aren’t I just taking a non-otaku and making them otaku?

  8. Panda Cookie says:

    As an otaku myself, i don’t find it necessary to date only otakus, as long as the person understands my passions and hobbies that’s enough. I’m currently dating a guy who is not an otaku, BUT he made an efford for try to understand me, and though he’s not into it he respects that i love being an otaku. We may not be able to have enthusiastic conversations about anime, manga, figures, etc, but he is such a wonderfull person that it conpensates for all of it, i love him for who he is, not for the things he likes or does. I can share my passions with anyone, but can only share my life with him ^^ So i guess it’s not about ‘to be or not to be an otaku’ but rather ‘to be or not to be a person who is willing to understand and respect you’.

  9. Ashley Gilliam says:

    Oh yes I would definitely date only otaku boys. I mean if im into anime and the boy isn’t then its kind of boring. Ive had an experience where I dated a boy who had never heard of such a thing. I tried explaining it to him and he just looked at me like I was a weird freak or something. I tried to get him into it but he just wouldn’t try. Every conversation we had was boring and it was just too weird for me so I just broke it off. It is much funner to have a boy who actually understands and feels the same way about anime that you do. Even to have friends who understands is awesome too. I have yet to find a boy like me but I knoy hes out there somewhere. So yes I would ONLY date otaku boys!

  10. Flip says:

    If I had a girl with as many Yoko figures as you I’d probably be totally madly in love. But in the south there’s not really too many real otaku or sane ones. Kind of sucks, I should move out west, you guys seem like you have more fun. Great write up Frances.

  11. Nephalite says:

    Never dated an otaku but my wife has never looked down upon my obsession. Hell at the last ax she help me pick out all the Queen blade figs and didnt bat an eye when I dropped almost 1k for all the figs I bought. She has even reserved a room in our house so I can make it my display room for all my anime stuff. But seeing this article I would agree it would be nice in some areas in the areas of sharing my obsession but I have my family to share it with my 2 sisters and brother. My brother for anime my sister for older stuff my youngest sister for fanfics. All in all tho great article 😀

  12. Keo says:

    I have to agree and disagree on some parts, but of course it’s different with everyone though! ^^ since for me it was mostly awkward dating otaku guys. Otaku girls on the other hand are really fun to date in my opinion lol since it’s sooo easy to relate even more with them. Although I’ve only dated seriously one otaku girl ;; so I can’t vouch too much on that.

    When I had an otaku boyfriend most of the times we would have differences and it was a bit awkward at times. Although he could understand though, howeveeeeeeer with my past boyfriends who weren’t – I have to admit there is the “awkward” stage where they find it weird and whatnot even if I’m also all girly. They were amazed at how much I could spend on what they considered “toys” – however most of the time it worked out in the end 🙂

    To be honest I’m one of those “otaku” girls that aren’t the type who just aren’t really attracted much to otaku guys too much or I simply haven’t found anyone like that. I’m sort of the type that is upfront and outgoing…and most of the guys I know are really shy, so it’s sometimes hard since you don’t want to see pushy…

    LOL I’m so sorry, I got into some weird tangent! But I liked reading this though 8D

  13. CC-tan says:

    My dating experiences with otaku haven’t been the most sunny or the most romantic. Both times I dated an otaku, I was chosen because I was the “hot girl whose into video games and Naruto” type. No joke.
    I’m into anime and all, but I have interests in the world outside of it, and those guys didn’t want to hear it. They wouldn’t talk to me about school, about the presidential election, about current trends and events, none of it. They really just wanted to talk video games and try to get in my pants. After I ended a relationship, the guy would say horrible things about me behind my back, or would threaten me through phone messages. To put it plainly, they were horrible jerks.

    I understand that not all otaku men are this way; some of my very best friends are otaku guys who treat women with utmost respect while still treating them like “one of the guys.”

    I haven’t dated for a long time, because I really needed a break after dealing with two d-bags in a row. But, now that I’m thinking of hitting the scene again, I’m hesitant to choose an otaku. Yeah, it’d be nice to have someone I won’t have to hide my cosplay and figures from, with whom I can listen to Macross music without worrying about my hobby being revealed, who will tolerate my horrible addiction to doujinshi. But sometimes a normal guy who likes normal things just sounds really nice.
    LOL, perhaps a blend of the two if what I’m looking for. XD

    • Nephalite says:

      As people mature and get their life straightened out they eventually hit this blend your looking for atleast I did.

    • Atomsk says:

      You know, reading your comment made me think of my own life. Because (at least here in PA) fellow otaku’s are hard to come by, I’d been forced to examine my life over the last few years. I came to a realization that I have a fascination with duality. I just have a tendency to walk the line on both sides of almost every issue I come across (with exceptions). I’ll admit, I can be the biggest nerd when I want to be. I love animation, the music, the feelings it inspires, and I’m open to pretty much anything. But at the same time it doesn’t dominate every waking minute of my life. I do understand what you’re talking about, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing haha. As much as I fancy myself a child of the digital age, I also feel the need to walk the other side of the line. I don’t know if any of this makes sense the way I wrote it (its much easier to explain in words), but that’s probably cuz I’m geekin’ right now.

  14. Baka-Raptor says:

    It’s not so much that non-otaku girls aren’t good enough. There’s just so much more I can do with an otaku girl. Anime has been such a big part of my life for the past decade that it’d be a shame not to bring it into the relationship.

  15. Kitty says:

    I would totally date an otaku guy! heck, like you, i don’t think i can even get into a conversation with a guy that doesn’t know anime! well, it’s not like i’m talking through experience or anything cuz i’ve never even dated before. as with most otakus it’s hard to find another otaku that will be interested. otakus are rather rare for our age and in america. (i’m 18,btw) so sad TAT.

    and another good thing about dating a guy that has the same interests is that you know what to give him for a gift! i always have trouble shopping for my dad and other guy friends when it comes to gifts, but if they like anime, there is not limit to what i can get them! same goes the other way to ;P.

    ah well. one of my otaku friends that i just met put it nicely: the bond between otaku and otaku is deeper than any friendship! we literally just met for the first time that day, and as soon as we found out our mutual otaku-ness, we were already best buddies.

  16. IshokuOsero says:

    Ever since I started diving into the world of Japanese culture as a whole – first with the music, and then with anime and manga, I’ve only dated nerdy guys and girls. I don’t think there’s really any other way around it, considering outside any of these obsessions, we all just look nuts.

    And I’ll be the first to admit I’m nuts, honestly. Here I am, continuing to pre-order figures I absolutely MUST HAVE despite the fact I’ll be moving two months from now nearly all the way across the country with my fiance when he’s done with his military training. I’ll be damned if I don’t get Alter’s 1/8 Ritsu, after having the other four girls in the set! I HAVE to have the rest of the 1/8 BRS girls – in Original AND Anime version… and BGS figma is due out soon! And I have to start other sets, and get more Touhou figures, and and and… the list goes on! My ‘cutting down on pre-ordering’ means two scaled figures a month, and various smaller things (like figmas or phone chains ).

    If I was engaged to anyone outside nerd-dom, they wouldn’t understand. They’d look at me and go ‘thought you were saving your money? Why do these toys keep coming in the mail? YOU SPENT HOW MUCH?’. Instead, I tell my fiance and he goes ‘oh, awesome! Can’t wait to see them! BTW, I just bought a DSI’ (true story, just happened the other night while we were on WoW ). He doesn’t collect figures, but he likes my collection. He’s a gamer, himself, though he is into anime.. just not the merch.

    I definitely do agree on the enthusiastic conversations part. I feel like I can only really open up with a fellow nerd, because… well, that’s the biggest part of who I am. I can talk just fine with my co-workers and such, I love them, don’t get me wrong. But at the same time, I can only say so much before the conversation wanes. But with nerds, I can talk all day! Very animated conversations, too – waving my hands all over the place and shouting at things I’m excited about. It’s nice! No matter what, my closest friends, relationship or not, will be nerds.

    And I do agree with you that the personality things depend on the person. There are assholes everywhere – you just have to know how to differentiate. Just because it’s a hobby, obsession, or what-have-you, it doesn’t mean it’s void of bad people. All sorts of people are into all sorts of things, and it doesn’t exclude nerdy hobbies.

  17. lovelyduckie says:

    I’m far more otaku than my bf, he watched Dragonball Z and Yu Yu Hakusho in his younger days but that’s about it. When he met me he knew he knew I was into anime/manga right off the bat from all the pictures on my wall. So in a way I accidentally re-kindled that part of him, we watch a lot of anime together and are enthusiastic about visiting Japan someday. But there are aspects of this hobby that he doesn’t share with me. I buy manga and he wishes I would just save my money and read it all for free online. Now figures…I definitely realize he thinks most are a waste of money but he doesn’t really vocalize it. He realizes that I spend my money on figures and manga that he finds silly and that he spends his money on his own hobbies that I think are silly. But I do think we’ll have issues every now and then over my collection, but its something we’ll overcome alright.

    PS – By the way how did you get Yoko for such a good deal again? $800 is a great price.

  18. samejima says:

    I do understand what u were talking about.
    I like otaku girls better than girls into fashion whatever.. I can’t be enthusiastically talking fashion with them all the time.. it’s not in my list after all.
    Figure collecting – that’s an awesome topic to talk. I’m a figure collector after all.
    Tech(computers,electronics,web/graphic designing, etc.) talk – It’s one of my best interests before I became a figure collector. I’m not as updated as before but at least I can still remember the basics.
    I might (or might not) stop this hobby anytime but watching anime is almost impossible to stop. ^^
    If I date a non-otaku girl, I’d surely influence her with my hobbies. It’s great to have a partner with similar interests after all.. but that depends from person-to-person though.

  19. agcpictures says:

    I need to find a way to get this post condensed into a pithy saying or image and then put it on a shirt, LOL.

    Is it weird that the thing that sticks out in my mind the most is the fact that your current boyfriend is willing to drop $5K on a Rei Ayanami but has never actually finished the series? (Yes, I consider End of Eva to be part of the original series.) I should ask him about that, especially since I really never understood the love for Rei in the first place….

  20. Cat says:

    My boyfriend and I will have been dating for two years in March. It’s coming up pretty damn quickly.

    While he does like Anime and Manga, as a whole we do not see eye to eye on the entire thing. He is by no means obsessed with it. As a matter a fact he does not like a lot of the Anime I like. He is not as into Star Trek as I am. He used to collect Godzilla figures and Zoids when he was ten but not anymore. I recently started collecting figures. I read superhero comic books and all sorts of campy things. We see eye to eye on some things but never on everything. We both play video games to a crazy amount.

    He would not like a lot of the Anime I watch, yet I love him. I honestly would not trade him for someone who has the exact same interests as me. I think it is more about personality than anything. He does not understand my figure collecting or the appeal of wearing costume. He is honest about things and supportive when I buy figures or decide against them. Even though he does not understand he is supportive and that is what matters.

    For our two year anniversary I am going to get him the play arts kai Solid Snake figure. He was looking at it earlier and I think it is the perfect anniversary present.

  21. Aguzz says:



    My boyfriend also is an otaku, and he was not into figure collecting until I got him a figure.
    Now he buys some himself, and has no issue with me spending up to my last cent on them <3
    I think I found my otaku! I think the key is finding someone who does not dislike your passions. He may not share them, but he can't have issues with them.
    My boyfriend loves gaming and programming. I'm lame at those, yet I find it so interesting!
    In a nutshell, IM HAPPY.

  22. MrColobus says:

    I’ve been (very happily!) married just over 10 years and my wife accepts all my nerdy hobbies – gaming, anime, manga, figures and a living room layout dictated by a home cinema system.

    I think I’m quite lucky, many people just think being obsessive about anime, technology, computers, gaming etc etc is a big waste of time, yet the same person might be able to talk for hours on end about football, or fishing, or last nights Big Brother. It often seems to me that the less mainstream your interest is, the less acceptable it is.
    Fortunately for me my wife is more open-minded than this and in fact shares some of my interests…. although she has commented that some of the figures are “a bit booby”, particularly the 1/7 Kasumi, that one has to be turned round a bit…!

    • Nephalite says:

      Hi five~! Isn’t that the greatest feeling in the world! My wife is the same way she didn’t understand my hobby when we first started dated but now after 5 years she sometimes watches anime with me or suggest figures. The most surprising figure so far she has picked out for me to buy was the Stripped panty Super Sonico figure. I though it was a bit risque but she thought it embodied what a lover would do for another 😀

  23. hotaruzuki says:

    I just had this conversation with my friend a few days ago. For me, I was raised on anime and ect because my Mom is a fan (1st generation for real. Her first was the old black and white Astro Boy) and my sister force fed me Sailor Moon. Its such a big part of my life now not having someone who shares my love for it is really selling myself short.

    Well, its more like….say, I have always been a big reader, being with someone who is illiterate and thinks reading is stupid would be a complete waste of time.

    Its such a big part of my life, its not like its a hobby. How do I put it? It is part of my personality. To the point that its not something I think of as “special” like a lot of new fans do (I’m an Anime Club President, I see that a lot.)

    I don’t know if I explained that well, but I think that I want to connect with my loved one on many levels. If anime/ect isn’t one of them, I probably won’t be satisfied.

  24. shockerz says:

    It’s great for you to find someone who shares your deep interests in the Japanese pop Cultures. I have yet to find the right Hime-sama who would be interested in anime,gaming,cosplay, or figure collecting.

    A wife who indulge in what I like is a big plus! xD

  25. Glsolo says:

    The thing i was told about relationships [and this has stayed with me] is “You don’t have to be compatible, you need to be complementary to each other.”

    That coming from someone who’s single.

  26. Yaku says:

    Hahaha this was a great post, thank you for sharing your thoughts about why we otaku would only date another otaku ^^

    You’re very right about finding otaku that fit you. People think that all otaku are the same, but anime/manga is so huge, we have many subcultures and between otaku we might not share the same interests so it’s not that easy to find friends and even harder significant others. For example I’m a huge BL fujoshi (and proud of it) but I didn’t find another fujoshi who was into what I was for around 7 years.

    I’d love to find someone who didn’t think getting a $100 figure was outrageous, myself ^_~

  27. […] Why I’d only date an otaku — How a Girl Figures’ fantastic author, Frances, spells it out. […]

  28. Atomsk says:

    And this is why I love the internet…you know how hard it is to find another otaku IRL by sheer coincidence? But here, I just google it and Voila!. I started to delve into the otaku subculture about 5-6 years ago, but it was my first GF that really sucked me in. It was right around then I was really getting into manga and anime, so finding a girl just like me was the greatest thing in the world then…now im an immense gamer otaku (as in my ipod has more OSTS and J-songs than anything else)…i have a real appreciation for the art of anime, but sadly im single again..ugh, and im ranting, but w/e, its always exciting to talk to similar people.

  29. Leebie says:

    I think your very lucky to know what kind of guy you would like to date, and I really admire that you’re so open about your hobbies and interest.

    Honestly, if I know someone (much less a boy) is going to be entering my room I pack away all my things (though it’s getting rather hard ^^) and refuse to take them out until they’ve cleared out of my home…

  30. Kazuhira says:

    Good read! Very cool all the comments of people finding there mr./mrs. Right. And to those struggling to find that right one, do not give up hope! Someone is out there for you, do not settle for less!

    Me personally have been into anime since I was a wee lad watching Toonami with Moltar from Space Ghost hosting DBZ and Sailor Moon. My love for all things Japan blossomed from that. I met my wife several years later as a teen and she wasn’t into anime at all. She would sit down with me and my buddies and watch Outlaw Star and Trigun and seemed to be actually enjoying it. From there I slowly introduced her to new stuff. From Death Note to Eva. She has even picked up a few shows of her own without an initial bump from me. I don’t think she will ever be on my level but I love her all the same. She never puts down my loves and I don’t hers. I’m not a diehard, I consider my self an otaku, but don’t have shelves and shelves of figures, but I own a few and a couple of manga and dvd box sets.

    My real problem right now is getting her to watch the Eva movies with me, its kinda hard to approach Shinji’s scene with Asuka in a coma…….yeah. I understand the place that Shinji is in as to why he felt he needed to do that, but try to explain that to someone else…

    So this kid beats it to a girl his age that’s in a coma, but its because he is torn and conflicted in his mind and junk….. ya know, daddy issues and his dead mother.

    Would that work? Lol

  31. jezza929 says:

    Hi I came across this post randomly while surfing the net and I know its probably dead but I have to say that there is a lot of misconceptions on anime fans as well as disagreements with in the community its self I myself have a small but expanding figure collection of not only anime but also kaiju as well and most girls even anime fans dislike it so as you could imagine its hard finding someone with an open mind so for a long time I buried all my interests and became the person people expected me to be hell I even changed my entire personality and it worked but it almost destroyed me so now I’m me or at least what was left and I’m alone but still as the song goes “this is all of me” now I have no idea why I wrote all of that

    • soto says:

      I understand how you feel, but whenever i have time fot myself i love to spend it watching animes!! Without my friends noticing about it lol they re not open minded to i have to keep it low, it sucks

  32. andre says:

    as a 32 year old otaku i have never found a girl that was otaku. but i realize now that only a otaku women will do for me. i have visit japan and went to akihabara daily and can say that an otaku women is very important.

    and for the collecting figures i spent $500 on a ufo catcher to get a c.c. figure in a kimono. if someone dos not get that they don’t know me.

  33. soto says:

    Well, around all the people i hang out with only one is otaku, and it made me really happy bc i thought i was the only one in the whole town lol i would really like to get to know more otaku people and be myself around them, 🙂

  34. Vanny says:

    What a great read!

    I think one of the most important thing in relationships is “respect” and being open minded. With those qualities, a couple would make a great pair ^^;;

    Anyways, thanks for writing this post. Great website too 🙂

    P.S: If you’re up for it, it would be interesting if you could write up a post about the word “otaku”.
    A lot of people seem very sensitive whenever people employ the word on others or themselves. I try to explain that under certain cultures (Western, for example), the word otaku isn’t very derogatory. There are many definitions to one word.
    You may have a different opinion… but hey, I’d be interested in reading it ^^

  35. Wolfheinrich says:

    Interesting read, I too believe compatibility in a relationship is perhaps the most important thing and that’s perhaps one of the reasons why I am still single XD

  36. Jeffrey Wong says:

    I have to agree on finding the right otaku. My first relationship was with a friend that loves anime/manga but it didn’t last long because all we had to talk about was anime, she talked about ones i don’t know and i talked about ones she didn’t know. She was a gamer i am a figure collector, it was a bit difficult.

    I am single now and am trying my best to find my best match, i’ve been a figure collector for 2 1/2 years and to tell the truth its hard finding someone who understands it like you said.

    What’s harder is that i am one of those people like you who plunged for a dollfie dream XD just hope this searching won’t go on too long 😀

  37. Masahiro says:

    Poor me, in Belgium there’s quite few otaku girls and the most of them friendzoned me ^^’ I’m very unlucky here, or should I ask them first but they’re all so shy …

    I can’t be helped – Nanodayo

  38. Nathaniel7 says:

    Marry me!!!!!!!!!!!

  39. joe says:

    I came across this post while randomly surfing around the net about people who collect figures.

    I’m just your average otaku dude who plays in a j-pop/rock cover band, goes to all them conventions, owns a ton of j-pop/rock/anison music, and just recently got into figure collecting.

    My gf of many years had met me as I am now (albeit I’d gone off the edge more over the past couple of years) but she’d never found me “too nerdy” to be undesirable. She’s not an otaku, but she’s cool with us taking long drives with Kalafina as our soundtrack. I think it has something to do with being confident in yourself, in being who you are but not coming across as just being “too nerdy” to swallow for most people.

    My gf though is very understanding in allowing me a day off from our weekend to visit conventions, and release my geeky side for a day, secure in the knowledge that even when I come home with figures in hand, I will still pay the bills come Monday. LOL

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